Monday, 30 July 2012


I was going to write about my weekend but that can wait. I wanted to tell you about my children because one thing that has become apparent to me over the past 12 months is how relationships with your children change completely as they grow up. 

To child #3 I am mum aka cleaner, butler, nurse, teacher, handy-girl, lego builder, purchaser, and cook (amongst other things). He's a boy, and this seems to also mean that I am somewhat there to supply cuddles on demand and, in his eyes, I am his and no one else's. We talk about sweets, school, fast cars, scary monsters and toys. He dresses up a as a pirate to watch a film, or comes shopping as Ben 10, this never ceases to amuse me. He regularly tells me he hates me when I use the word 'no' but then he draws me pictures with 'I love you mummy xoxo' written on them. He makes me want to scream sometimes, but he makes me melt with overwhelming love on other days. Its wonderful.

To child #1 I am something entirely different. We've had some tough times but I think it is safe to say we are pretty close these days. I am still 'mum' (sometimes referred to as 'mummy' or 'mother-dear' or, on bad days, something far worse) but mum to child #1 is something very different. I'm still the cleaner to some extent, but also counsellor, taxi, referee, funding officer, police officer, and oracle. She claims that I am different to most parents. I doubt this to be honest but I am glad she thinks so. She too causes me stress, but less so these days, and is the reason I have been up until 2am on a number of occasions (I assume this will get worse as she gets older too). Our relationship is very different. We talk about everything, and it really is a too way thing. She will listen to my bad day with the same intent that I listen to hers. She's very independent and I love this about her, but that means she often goes off to stay with friends for a night or two and then I miss her. The best thing about child #1 is that even when she's away she keeps in touch. Texts me to tell me anything that excites her, and texts me with personal dilemma's for advice (not that my advice is always that great). She's a dreamer too, and I fuel this because, in my view, you can achieve anything as long as you want it for the right reasons, and it is the latter I keep my eye on.

Child #2 is somewhere between this at the moment, and she may always be. She's the most independent of them all. She wants to join the armed forces, possibly as a medic, and be away for months on end. The thought horrified me until a friend of hers commented 'So you just want to protect people and make them better then?', and child #2 replied 'well...yes'. What more could I ask for? She doesn't talk to me about anything and so I am left to keep up with her personal trials and tribulations via child #1, whom she does seem to talk to more (this fact I love). I never really know what she is thinking either and she answers in one word sentences if I ask. The most amazing thing about child #2 is her commitment to anything she decides to do. She does this far better than me. She sees everything through until the end. She understands that sometimes you have to ride out the mundane periods to get to the exciting bits. I never understood this until I was in my mid 20s. She goes off with the cadets for days on end quite regularly, without any contact and I miss her. I long for the closeness that I have with Child #1 but I have to except that I may never get that with her. Time will tell. She does have a wicked sense of humour though, and can make me laugh so much.

So that's what's in the nest. They are all unique with strong opinions. They are my reasons for getting through the bad times. They inspire and drive me in ways they don't realise. They make me smile.

I promise I'll move back on the day to day stuff next time and maybe show you my re-vamped mirror!

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